So, peace hasn’t been still. Today, I’m better.
You ever feel like you’re literally spiraling out of control? Ever have a moment where you’re triggered by everything, and I mean EVERYTHING? Ever feel like nothing is going in your favor? Ever feel like you’re not doing enough? Ever feel like you’re not enough?
“My shitty existence” is what I said to someone. And when you are feeling down, and you are trying to tell someone how you are feeling, it can seem a bit more dramatic than it should. I won’t say that it wasn’t how I was feeling, because I was. Which came from a day where I barely got any sleep, it seemed as if everyone was saying the wrong thing, and seeing things…and hormonal situations. Yesterday was a BAD day! The only way I felt like I was going to make it through was to force myself to go to sleep. If I slept through the day, maybe I’ll wake up feeling better.
It slightly worked. But I ended up sleeping from 4:30pm to 12am….NOT good on a Tuesday night. I didn’t feel much better but I got more sleep. I also had the day off today so I didn’t have work to pull me further down. I also “tried” to stay off the internet so I couldn’t. I also took a long shower, polished my nails and applied to a few jobs.
But I had a weird dream the night before. It involved a black duck. I won’t get into the whole dream but in the dream I was making eggs, and when I tried to break the egg, a duck flew out. The duck was stark white, but when I picked it up to take it out, it turned BLACK, and it would fight to get out of my arms. When I woke up and had a little time, I googled to find out what did mean to dream about black ducks. One site said that it was warning signal for my overwhelming fears and that I am feeling trapped. It also said that I need to stop closing myself off and how I can no longer depend on someone. It pretty much just explain that dreaming about a black duck was a negative force. Not one good thing, but I knew that.
Now that I made this post, maybe I do feel a little bit better. I realized that most of my problems are IN my control, and I’ll have to get over that one that isn’t 🕵️. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it either way so I gotta let it go.
That’s all I have to say about that…bye bye 👋🏾
Original Tiffany LaBett©
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